Military Relationships Are Different

Dating in general is a beast all its own, but add in military complications and you get a completely different animal. For me, I never thought I'd end up with someone in the military overall simply because I can be a big brat. Of course life had other ideas so here I am, dating a Marine and completely in like and lust. I figured it would be interesting to share how military dating changes the game a bit.


1. Separation. - Depending upon where you are and where your significant other is based there can be time zone differences, oceans and continents separating the two of you. The separation essentially forces you to kind of make the person more of an idea because the physical affection is nonexistent. Also, you kind of are with someone but single at the same time due to the separation and distance. Lastly, there's deployment which sucks something awful because the communication is limited and you have to have a strong support system in order to get through those months of your lover "going dark." I haven't had to experience a deployment yet but being separated by a country and 15 hour time difference was stressful, I asked him to come home so many times. It's draining on both parties. 

2. Technology reliance to the extreme. - FaceTime, Skype, Oovoo, texting, WhatsApp, iMessage and so on become your best friends because they allow you to feel connected to your significant other even when you can't be with them. For me personally, FaceTime is how I've put my boyfriend to sleep and how we've gone to sleep together while he was in Japan. It was a comfort thing like we were together even though were weren't. In order to see your lover and know how they are doing, technology will become your best friend. My phone is always on my person now because I want to always be available to talk with my boyfriend. 

3. Sex is outrageously intense. - Since time together and physical affection is so limited the sex tends to be through the roof. Both parties are essentially starved and once together the match has been thrown into the gasoline. Sex isn't just a physical release but also a way to be as intimately close as possible so it feeds the physical and emotional needs of both people in the relationship. Speaking from personal experience, it's pretty outrageous in the best way possible. 

4. Trust is beyond essential. - Trust is important in every relationship in life, but when you're in a military relationship it is at the top of the list of necessities. You can't be with someone who won't be around most of the time where you can't keep tabs on them without trust. It would drive you mad and the relationship would turn toxic. For me, I have utter faith in my boyfriend and if he says something I believe him without question because that's how trust works. Having said that, should he ever make me question said trust, that's where the issues would arise. Trust and care are the two most important aspects of a military relationship to me. 

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3 comments

  1. It's so amazing that you're finding ways to make it work! Thank goodness for technology, right? When I was in Japan a decade ago Skype didn't exist, and I was so homesick! My fingers are crossed for you two that your love will be stationed closer to home soon!

    xoxo
    Emily
    emilyhallock.blogspot.com

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  2. Although me and my boyfriend were only separated for 5 months, I definitely feel you on all of these points. We mostly relied on an app called Couple (which is basically like WhatsApp) and Skype to keep in touch with each other. We Skyped almost every single day. I can only imagine the added struggle if you have to deal with different time zones! I wish you all the best with your relationship, but from what I can read here it seems to be going very well. :-)


    xoxo
    Freya
    thatgirlyt.wordpress.com

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  3. I can only imagine what a military relationship is like. A friend of mine has a husband in special forces so he can just up and disappear for any amount of time without a word so it's always worrisome. I'm glad you've pointed out the differences between a military relationship and a "normal" one but you've also obviously found ways to make things work. Nice job.

    Single Vegas Girl
    http://singlevegasgirl.blogspot.com

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