You Are Your First Most Important Person


This post comes from people watching and also some reflection upon my own life. The title might be a bit confusing but this is going to be about why you can't live for making everyone else happy at the expense of your own health and happiness. I've seen so many people that are "people pleasers" which is honestly exhausting because you literally can't please everyone at all times yet people feel the need to do just that. Also, I've had a few moments where I wanted to please someone so badly that it cost me a bit of my own sanity. You, before anyone else, are your first priority and most important person. Your happiness, opinions and desires matter

I'm a bit selfish in that I put me, myself and I first before anyone else, even my family sometimes which causes me to argue a bit with my parents and grandparents. My parents and grandparents tend to be self-sacrificing and expect me to be just like them. While I'm always willing to help when I'm needed, I'm not willing to drop my entire life and move to Houston, Texas to appease my mother's need to have me closer to her which makes me selfish. I visit more frequently than ever to manage the issue but I won't move there and work for my father simply to make them happy. I have a life on the east coast and I love where I live. 

To me, there are three kinds of people, completely self-severing, the self-serving yet selfless and the utterly selfless. I think a decent portion of people, including myself, fall into the middle ground which tends to have the happy balance of being selfless when necessary but also taking care of their own needs and whatnot. If you fall into one of the other extremes, well, life gets a bit more complicated. The completely self-serving one is the worse of the two for obvious reasons. 

If you find you are more selfless than self-serving, you might want to change that. Not taking care of yourself, pushing aside your own needs consistently to satisfy others and worrying about pleasing everyone is exhausting and extremely unhealthy. You can't expect to genuinely be able to care and take care of another person if you can't even take care of yourself. It is kind of like offering a service to a client that you don't even do for yourself. It doesn't work like that. 

You are the most important person in this world, love yourself and care for yourself. Yes, you can care for others and sacrifice here and there to make things balance out but
not at the cost of your own happiness or health. Seriously, I've seen people to incredibly ridiculous things which caused their mental health to decline to simply keep their "friends" or "significant other" happy. Your own happiness should not cost someone else and most definitely should not be stopped for someone else. Selfish isn't terrible in doses because we only get one life to lead so we have to take care of ourselves, mentally, physically and emotionally. 

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5 comments

  1. Loved your post Sam. It really is inspirational, well done. I put myself first too, don't worry. justwrittenme.wordpress.com

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  2. I love this post! I sometimes tend to fall into the selfless category and need to learn to put myself first more.
    http://www.midnightandlace.co.uk/

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  3. Great post! There are times I find myself drained because I'm putting others first, and need to take a step back and think of me for a while. It's hard when parents want us living closer to them and can't accept our choices to live elsewhere but at least you go visiting! xx

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  4. Ah great post!! And I truly couldn't agree more. :) What a wonderful read!!

    xoxo,
    Amber
    http://www.loveambervictoria.com

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  5. Love this post, couldn't agree more!! Great post!

    Darriyan xo | www.darriyancateland.co.uk

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